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Direction.. which way

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default Direction.. which way

Post by Sunshine on Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:44 pm

I feel somewhat lost.. things frustrating me. (thank you all for letting me vent) geek

Husband is frustrating me.. I feel as though my opinions are not valid.. scratch Our talking is more of a argument and nothing ever gets solved. I go into the mode that I am hurt but just don't care.. not good.. anyway. I am not feeling angry ..just really ticked off and hurt at the time. It does not really stick with me. (which I suppose is good) Our communication needs to improve..

My daughter and I have been arguing a lot lately.. affraid Crying or Very sad Love them hormones.

I am working at a temp job right now but it is not what I want to do in the long run.. (they usually hire on the temps) 1st they would have to pay me a lot more and keep my 4hr shifts... cyclops on a postive .. good for a bit of extra income for food.. yay!

I want to do photography so crossing fingers so that I can get back into the program that helps small business start ups.. St. Patrick
I really want to do something on my own that I am very passionate about and love doing.. which is photography.. Cloud 9

I know that I am somewhat going in the right direction as I have validations of flowers, trees budding, and this morning a rainbow.. and even my SG confirming with me that "see things are working out" and "I told you so" Director

I guess I am feeling discombobulated..lol (hope I spelled that right) Watch Out Hiding

I want ME time...and I never have really had it. My life revolves around husband and daughter.. Mummy I am told.. "Hon.. I want you to do whatever you want.. do stuff for you" but it does not work that way.. I drive our daughter to and from school.. he can't .. I do the main part of the parenting.. ok but would love more of him to do it. (talking to him about this does not work) Sad Eyes

I guess just sometimes I wonder when life begins.. I Don't Get It
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Post by irisheyes on Wed Mar 12, 2008 8:11 am

Sunshine your surroundings are so beautiful,that,s life.Then on the other hand all your responsibilities are overwhelming at times.That,s life too.We,re always learning something.
Have a wonderful day.Take some more pictures,it seems to make you feel good. sunny flower Innocent
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default Re: Direction.. which way

Post by samijo on Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:00 am

Sunshine,
First I want to give you a big ole Hug 2 .
Second, I want to remind you that you have been going through alot lately, you and your family.
Thirdly, it is good to vent to get those thoughts out of your mind. Become the true I AM, dont get caught up within those thoughts going on in your head, get out of there. Remember the New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, find that still time and get into the now in just being.
Sometimes Steves breathing brothers me! Clubbin but then I get over it. Very Happy
Everything will be alright! Love ya girl...sami
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default Re: Direction.. which way

Post by mamabird37721 on Wed Mar 12, 2008 5:58 pm

dont you gals ever just look at the man your with and think... God.. what did i see in him??? then other days you think .. man hes so good looking.. LOL. I have sat and looked at (now exs) hubbies like... hmmmm they always say what are you looking at... sometimes I tell them.. according to my mood.. sometimes I lie and say nothing dear. I have been there sami.. sometimes just the way they watch tv bothers me. THATS WHY I AM NOT MARRIED NOW... YEAH THATS IT.. lol... no i miss being married in alot of ways.. just have never found the right man.. but.. one might be out there. i have sat and watched one watching tv and maybe lift a leg to pass gas.. enabling all of us to enjoy the nice new aroma.. or belch and make a tasting noise and tell me again how good dinner was... makes me never want to eat.. OR COOK again... or maybe pick their nose when they think no one is watching.. (and yes.. wonder what they are going to do with their find... NO NOT THE SOFA... CRAP)...i know i sound bitter and maybe i am. as a woman.. now truthfully now.. we dont FART.. we """pass gas""" but you never would know it.. at least you would not HEAR it... yes we have all the nasty bodily functions that a man does but... we dont spit.. we dont retaste our food... we dont belch and if we burp we cover our mouths.. you never hear the passing of gas.. and we bathe daily. we even put on makeup for the slugs we are married to only to never see the remote again.. never be told thank you for anything especially rubbing their feet or scratching their backs.. we work... take care of kids.. clean house.. shop .. pay bills.. attend meetings.. tote kids to soccer.. baseball... cheerleading... cookie sales.. pta events.. help with homework.. we cook.. have to clean house again.. do laundry.. iron.. take out trash.. well then theres the other half of the day.. and we still have time to put on that makeup. HMMMMM makes you wonder doesnt it??? I can understand why Bobbitt is my hero... then somedays.. i think i sound too synical.. Even if we go on vacation... WE pack.. for the entire family... get someone to take care of the many animals the kids drug in... clean house. cause we cant leave a dirty house what would the pet sitter think?? go to the post office and call the newspaper to hold everything for a week.. make our calls to inform everyone... pay those bills so nothing is forgotten.. get the travelers checks.. recheck the luggage.. get the kids ready.. pack the damn car.. then we get there.. have to unpack.. chase kids.. i mean it never stops. we never stop. its no wonder we feel this way most of the time. YET.. how many of us ever really kill our hubbies???? we just get up the next day and ask for more.

LOL... love you all.... have a blessed day. (and go take a long hot bath)
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default Re: Direction.. which way

Post by Cristíona on Thu Mar 13, 2008 2:55 pm



Hello, Sunshine ... I love you, my Sister.

Just vent as you need to, your Sisters will listen, understand, lift you up, pour you a stiff drink, fix your makeup and push you out the door to fight s'more ! Superman We will have these moments as Women, only to step out stronger like a phoenix rising up out of the ashes. You are Woman, wear your strength with Pride and know that your Sisters are right beside you on the battle lines !!
Cheerleader 3 Group Hug Cheerleader 3



Heart 2 Heart 2 Heart 2 Heart 2 Heart 2 Heart 2




I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

CHORUS
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I CAN DO ANYTHING
I am strong ... STRONG
I am invincible ... INVINCIBLE
I am WOMAN

You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

CHORUS

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I CAN FACE ANYTHING
I am strong ... STRONG
I am invincible ... INVINCIBLE
I AM WOMAN

Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong

FADE
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman



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Post by Sunshine on Thu Mar 13, 2008 3:46 pm

That is awesome.. I loved reading your posts... Group Hug

It is straight from the heart.. and has meaning and truth.. thank you.. Irish.. Robin, Sami and Cristíona!!!

I am having an off day today so I loved reading.. I am Woman!!! Cheerleader 3

or maybe pick their nose when they think no one is watching.. (and yes.. wonder what they are going to do with their find... NO NOT THE SOFA... CRAP)...
lol omg too funny!! how true is this!!!!

Sunshine,
First I want to give you a big ole .
Second, I want to remind you that you have been going through alot lately, you and your family.
Thirdly, it is good to vent to get those thoughts out of your mind. Become the true I AM, dont get caught up within those thoughts going on in your head, get out of there. Remember the New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, find that still time and get into the now in just being.
Sometimes Steves breathing brothers me! but then I get over it.
Everything will be alright! Love ya girl...sami
samijo

In the now.. ahhh how often I forget this. Alot may be an understatement.. I am in a tizzy today as money and banks and credit places and I are not getting along. I want to just be a hermit so they will leave me alone.. I feel that sometimes that nobody who works in a credit collection place has feelings or are even human.. arrrrgggggg!!! Some woman put a cheque through dated for the 14th on the 11th.. ummm ok.. and I just feel like screaming today..!! Thank goodness for working out !!! I feel good after 2hrs of getting in shape.

My PC has booted me so many times yesterday when I was trying to post I just gave up for the night.. today my other PC is doing the same thing.. Beating A Dead Horse

Time to get some fresh air.. take some photos.. and enjoy some of the day.. Cheer Leader

Love you all...

Big Group Hug
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Post by Sunshine on Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:24 pm

I wanted to say I am sorry for posting my frustrations and about my hardships in my life. I really do not want to burden anyone with my issues.

I do really enjoy my surroundings, my family, my home, my puppy, my health, the flowers etc. But some days it is really hard to focus on just the good when I have a frustrated husband who has no idea how he is getting to work becuase we have NO money or even better yet, no money to pay bills and buy food to eat. So I leave it in Gods hands that something good is coming for us around the corner as this is getting to be enough.

So once again.. thank you to those who have posted and who do listen and don't mind me venting. I am feeling a little like I should not be sharing my life and what's going on as some people just really don't care and seem to think my lifes problems go on and on.. It feels like somewhat like I have been unwelcome and that I should just shut up.
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Post by Guest on Sun Mar 23, 2008 10:13 pm

Sunshine wrote:I wanted to say I am sorry for posting my frustrations and about my hardships in my life. I really do not want to burden anyone with my issues.

I do really enjoy my surroundings, my family, my home, my puppy, my health, the flowers etc. But some days it is really hard to focus on just the good when I have a frustrated husband who has no idea how he is getting to work becuase we have NO money or even better yet, no money to pay bills and buy food to eat. So I leave it in Gods hands that something good is coming for us around the corner as this is getting to be enough.

So once again.. thank you to those who have posted and who do listen and don't mind me venting. I am feeling a little like I should not be sharing my life and what's going on as some people just really don't care and seem to think my lifes problems go on and on.. It feels like somewhat like I have been unwelcome and that I should just shut up.
First off I think you need a big ol' Hug 2
I'm sorry you feel unwelcome to post. Really Confused esp. since you have posted in the thread that says specifically "Need to vent some steam? Use this thread to help!"
Please don't think that just because people don't post in response that they don't care! There may be many reasons people don't respond that have absolutely nothing to do with YOU! Even if no one responds hopefully just the act of getting things off your chest will help. I think that is what this thread is for. People are different. Some find the need to share alot and some people like to keep things to themselves. No one is right no one is wrong. just different.
speaking for myself, i know I said the exact same thing to Adam the other day , that I should "just shut up" -it's just the whole situation that has you feeling that way. If it makes you feel better.....then post!!
I wish I could help more, but am pretty damn lost in the muck myself. Sad
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Post by samijo on Sun Mar 23, 2008 10:52 pm

Sunshine!
We are here for each other. This is what it is all about. You go right ahead and vent to us girl! I mean this is what Gods commandment is TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER.....I mean it is like depression comes from bottling up all that negativity and muck within, the only way to get out of it is to get it out and release it...I dont want you to think we don't care. I know that I do and so does every one else. And forsure you are there for us too, so it makes a full circle...You don't ever feel like you are bothering us with what is going on with you. You are a blessing to have as a friend...LOVE YOU SISTA
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Post by nwpisces on Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:05 pm

Hug 2 a big hug for you Sunshine. Please don't ever feel like we don't care or that we don't want to listen to you vent. We are all here to learn and help each other. Like it was already said some vent some don't some post comments some just say a a prayer for you or who ever is having a tough time. But please know in your heart that we all care about everyone here. That includes you. Heart 2
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Post by Admin on Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:12 pm

well honey, please forgive my bluntness, but i just calls 'em like i sees 'em.

1. You NEED to make time for YOU!! If hubby wants something done, remind him that his legs aren't painted on, and that if he's old enough to want it, he's old enough to do it his self!

2. Be sure to remind him that you're doing the very best you can, and that if he doesn't appreciate it, he's gonna be damn sorry! Then grab your camera bag and get the hell out of there, and go do what YOU wanna do! I don't think there's anything worse in a relationship, than trying to make your spouse happy, while you're miserable doing it! And even if we convince ourselves that it's easier to go along with what they want, frig 'em! Every now and then, WE need to do what WE want to do! Quid Pro Quo!! Give and take!

3. As for your daughter, she's going to understand that mommy needs time, too! Don't let the idea of not spending "enough time with her" stop you from doing what you wanna do! (As long as it's not being a pole dancer, but I'm just judging you if that's what you wanna do. Just saying, "hey, don't take daughter dear along with you to work!" LOL)

4. And last but not least, you need to toot your own horn once in awhile, because if you don't, people aren't going to know you're moving! It amazes me that we honk our horns in the car, when we're stuck in traffic, because we hate being confined from doing and going where we want to go, but we don't honk our horns when it comes to people making us confined from what we want to do in our relationships! Just give a couple good blasts of your own horn once in awhile, reminding him that "Hey buddy, this wedding ring means commitment, not ownership! It's a sign of our love, not a deed!"

Again, I'm sorry if I seem to harsh or blunt, I'm truly not trying to offend you or belittle you. I'm just trying to inspire you to remember that YOU are a special and unique person, who has every right to ask for the same things, respect, and appreciation that you have given the people around you! Ain't nothing wrong with that, and don't let anyone else tell you differently!

Hug 2
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Post by Sunshine on Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:33 pm

Psi wrote:First off I think you need a big ol' Hug 2
I'm sorry you feel unwelcome to post. Really Confused esp. since you have posted in the thread that says specifically "Need to vent some steam? Use this thread to help!"
Please don't think that just because people don't post in response that they don't care! There may be many reasons people don't respond that have absolutely nothing to do with YOU! Even if no one responds hopefully just the act of getting things off your chest will help. I think that is what this thread is for. People are different. Some find the need to share alot and some people like to keep things to themselves. No one is right no one is wrong. just different.
speaking for myself, i know I said the exact same thing to Adam the other day , that I should "just shut up" -it's just the whole situation that has you feeling that way. If it makes you feel better.....then post!!
I wish I could help more, but am pretty damn lost in the muck myself. Sad

Hug 2 back at ya Jennifer.. thank you.

I guess that I just have been feeling a little in a desert peroid (again) lately .. mostly to do with Money and what I want to do in life.. Suspect I totally understand if people don't post that they don't care.. I would be guilty of that as well.. Embarassed I just have been feeling like I vent a little too much.. mostly when I am frustrated. I write in my journal usually to vent but have not done that in a while.

Hug 2 and Heart 2 to you too.. I know you have been going through a rough time as well. Things will eventually turn around and get better.. Angel 2

samijo wrote:Sunshine!
We are here for each other. This is what it is all about. You go right ahead and vent to us girl! I mean this is what Gods commandment is TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER.....I mean it is like depression comes from bottling up all that negativity and muck within, the only way to get out of it is to get it out and release it...I dont want you to think we don't care. I know that I do and so does every one else. And forsure you are there for us too, so it makes a full circle...You don't ever feel like you are bothering us with what is going on with you. You are a blessing to have as a friend...LOVE YOU SISTA

Thank you Sami... Heart 2 and Hug 3 to you too. I love how you put that.. To Love One Another.. just some days I get a little lost.. venting does help.. just don't want to vent too much.. Thinking Time to do my meditation and yoga once again.. hopefuly that will help a bit.

nwpisces wrote:Hug 2 a big hug for you Sunshine. Please don't ever feel like we don't care or that we don't want to listen to you vent. We are all here to learn and help each other. Like it was already said some vent some don't some post comments some just say a a prayer for you or who ever is having a tough time. But please know in your heart that we all care about everyone here. That includes you. Heart 2

Thank you NWPisces.. Hug 2 's back to you too.. much appreciated

Admin wrote:well honey, please forgive my bluntness, but i just calls 'em like i sees 'em.

1. You NEED to make time for YOU!! If hubby wants something done, remind him that his legs aren't painted on, and that if he's old enough to want it, he's old enough to do it his self!

2. Be sure to remind him that you're doing the very best you can, and that if he doesn't appreciate it, he's gonna be damn sorry! Then grab your camera bag and get the hell out of there, and go do what YOU wanna do! I don't think there's anything worse in a relationship, than trying to make your spouse happy, while you're miserable doing it! And even if we convince ourselves that it's easier to go along with what they want, frig 'em! Every now and then, WE need to do what WE want to do! Quid Pro Quo!! Give and take!

3. As for your daughter, she's going to understand that mommy needs time, too! Don't let the idea of not spending "enough time with her" stop you from doing what you wanna do! (As long as it's not being a pole dancer, but I'm just judging you if that's what you wanna do. Just saying, "hey, don't take daughter dear along with you to work!" LOL)

4. And last but not least, you need to toot your own horn once in awhile, because if you don't, people aren't going to know you're moving! It amazes me that we honk our horns in the car, when we're stuck in traffic, because we hate being confined from doing and going where we want to go, but we don't honk our horns when it comes to people making us confined from what we want to do in our relationships! Just give a couple good blasts of your own horn once in awhile, reminding him that "Hey buddy, this wedding ring means commitment, not ownership! It's a sign of our love, not a deed!"

Again, I'm sorry if I seem to harsh or blunt, I'm truly not trying to offend you or belittle you. I'm just trying to inspire you to remember that YOU are a special and unique person, who has every right to ask for the same things, respect, and appreciation that you have given the people around you! Ain't nothing wrong with that, and don't let anyone else tell you differently!

Hug 2

Adam.. thank you.. no worries about being blunt.. Wink

1)I know I need time for myself.. just finding it is one thing.. yes.. my daughter who is 11yrs old is able to take care of her self for a little while.. and yest my husband can take care of him self. It's just a royal pain when my husband works so much and does not help out as much as he could. I am not trying to make an excuse for him but maybe it is because I have been taking care of him for the past (going on ) 4years now .. since his accident. He is a darn lucky man. Joyful I am looking into taking my second half of my meditation and healing class.. just have to figure out funds for that.. and then I have some "me" time. next to my meditation an gym time.

2) He is pretty supportive.. wants me to do lots of things for myself. The only issue with that is I have to work around our daughters schedule as I pick her up.. drop her off .. etc. As his hours are so different (always have been) and there is no bus to take her to school.. so that is just something I have to work around. Some days it just feels as though he is more important than me.. It has gotten much much better over the 14years we have been together.. wayyyyyy better. He respects me more than ever. Just finding something to work around parental responsiblities... need to sit down with husband and talk more about this.. seem to get stuck each time we do .. anyway.

3) lol not going to be a pole dancer..LOL although there is an exercise class here in town that is pole workout.. I know the lady so she is repituable.. Giggle


4) Thank you.. so true about the horn thing!! Rock On! I think my husband and I need to remember we are a couple and that we are not a business and that there are things that can be worked on. And sometimes he does need to be reminded about how awesome I am.

For the most part.. my frustration lies with being so in the hole with money... that just seems to be the top issue with us.. totally stresses me out (thanks to my mom for that.. learned from her) Just seems that everything else adds up from then on.. so husband is really a good guy.. yes we have issues.. Money just makes problems and it seems to go on and on.. being in an overdraft that we don't even have (to pay regular mothly bills is regular) but not having funds due to husbands work to pay us back is a total pain in the A$$ Glad they are starting to pay for things ahead of time as I was about to talk to them myself and that is not my place to do it... Beating A Dead Horse

Big Group Hug to everyone.. thank you Heart 2
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